press the button to switch it on tarquin thank you hello hello hello what have we here well we have got the nottingham police crime commissioner caroline henry the big bone girl imagine if she fell on you if she had a suitcase on top of red should look like a fitted wardrobe this lady has been found guilty well she’s pled guilty and she’s about to go back into court in july uh to find out what she’s going to get for uh mistakenly getting her numbers wrong you see it’s almost as if this is contagious contagious c-u-n-t-a see the contagious seems to be the problem at nottingham police when it comes to getting things right they get a lot wrong you see they um they misremember they change things and of course they make totally innocent mistakes when it comes to changing witness statements or overruling judges overcoming them or indeed extending bail three times i’ve already admitted that i’m gonna have to sue nottingham police you see because seven no further actions they sent the bomb squad round remember look tarquin there he is slap it martin from the sti van squad i’ve noticed he’s not been on channel five recently it’s as if they’ve written him out i like the thoughts me dc dyslexic diane from derbyshire constabulary to make a statement on behalf of miss caroline of henry the big bone girl from derbyshire police when i joined the conservative party people said to me dc dyslexic diane would you like to be a personal assistant to pa i said what’s that piss artist alex i said no i want to be pe to a pcc a police crime constable so my job was to do the numbers and waste i mean spend the half a million pounds these pointless positions are given a year we hired caroline henry in derbyshire with the constabulary to waste her 000 pounds a year on kebabs and big macs and she did and she asked me about driving and this was alex this is where it went wrong next you’ll hear a statement from mr bellfield but first i want to confirm it’s all my fault alex i said to miss henry she must stay within the speed limit on a 20 mile an hour route she must not do faster than 54 miles an hour we’re [ __ ] aren’t we there well this lady look at her she went to the doctor’s this morning and she says there’s something wrong with me he said i think you’re pregnant she said i can’t be pregnant i’m 73. you said no you’re not pregnant you just look pregnant anyway the thing is this woman is on 85 000 pounds a year according to the newspapers let me just turn that up a bit over there and eight five thousand pounds a year and people keep saying to me what do you think she spent it on i said well judging by the latest pictures kfc anyway that’s not why you called you know i had christmas dinner with caroline henry don’t tell the chief constable it was wonderful we had a lovely time she had two pints of water with a christmas dinner one to drink and one to cool down a knife and fork anyway i don’t want to gloat i don’t want to gloat so you will have the full story tomorrow morning at alex belfield.com but just know when you point fingers let me do it this way when you point fingers look how many are pointing back three so be very careful caroline henry uh you my dear have just ended your career your reputation is in tatters who do you think you are dc percival right press the button did you hear that that’s the voice of [ __ ] reason wasn’t it suspended by youtube strip search for being a bomber to a witch hunt by the beef and cancelled by ben larry at the dopey times we don’t get too tiny let’s go brogan ad free at alex belfield.com the secret vor club sign up now and get shushy shush don’t tell the lefties or the woke dart shishi she please be quiet this tippy-toppy cup shinery ain’t for you alex belfield’s voice [Music]
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